Kevin Rudolph f/ Lil' Wayne: "Let It Rock"

If you’re like me, having read ClayDom PurdAcola’s visceral mixdown of Tha Carter III you may be a little bit confused about this Lil’ Wayne character. Initially I think a lot of us thought he was just some post-crunk embodiment, no more polished or less savvy than Lil’ John. It’s time to reevaluate this, erm, persona because a brief look at the Billboard Hot 100 chart reveals that the word “ubiquitous” doesn’t even scratch the surface of what this, erm, juggernaut is accomplishing in pop music.

Even at the height of the ’06-’07 Timbaland Pandemic we’ve not seen the equal to the Wayne Proliferation of 2008. I submit, as Exhibit A, “Let It Rock,” ostensibly by some guy named Kevin Rudolf but bearing the sine qua non of big stoopid radio success, the most coveted suffix in all of entertainment at the moment: “featuring Lil’ Wayne.” This song is basically just a trio of rotating synth-soaked, stadium rock choruses: one rhythmic, one falsetto based, and one anthemic. Don’t get me wrong, each one is catchy, but even if you haven’t seen the video (which appears to have been shot somewhere between an AC/DC concert and a rave in a black hole) you can just feel Lil’ Wayne grinning behind these vanilla riffs, knowing beyond certainty that this song will blow the fuck up out of sheer reptilian oddity.

And there he is, his first words, “Wayne’s World / Planet Rock.” And there he is throwing up the metal sign in between his stuttered lines while people off camera chant “Rock!!!” And there he is with a guitar strapped around his neck and a bandana covering his entire face except for the part covered by his Ray-Bans. Is he playing the guitar? Is he even going to reach for a single fret? If you’re asking these kinds of questions you’re living in a pre-Lil’ Wayne universe and you’d best to get yourself caught up. I mean, you might not agree with the bailout package either, but it doesn’t mean you can pout away a market force. And let’s be clear: Lil’ Wayne is JP Morgan Chase.