Riz MC: "All of You"

You have to feel sorry for Jodie Whittaker, and when I say sorry, I don’t mean in a “you poor thing, now lie down and let me try out this new massage technique” kind of way. The emergent Brit actress is famed for playing vulnerable—so much so that it’s only a matter of time before documentary-makers get their way, and cast her as Dominique Strauss-Kahn. Riz MC must have seen her in Accused, or Venus, or the Critters-tastic Attack the Block, because he’s booked for his latest video, having first told her to part her lips a little more and push her vulnerable side through the roof. “All of You” is classic battle of the sexes territory, where the shopworn formula gets a kick in the arse thanks to Riz’s acidic confessions (and the fact that he’s cast himself as a lube-abusing love rat). It takes place at night, of course, somewhere in south London, of course again, and features Riz kissing goodbye to his latest Mrs MC, drinking in her softness now that he’s pierced and conquered her. It’s the song’s theme—love as one-upmanship, the rush of knowing you’ve made someone weaker—and so it’s fitting that he gives his girl a mixtape and an Alba CP300 cassette player to enjoy it on, packing her off on the Docklands Light Railway.

What unfolds is creepy, like that part in Batman Begins where Katie Holmes has to taser Bale in the tit. The sense of menace calmly escalates thanks to the nightvision bass and beats, and as Jodie zones out on the train, Riz’s voice starts to purr through her earphones: “Maybe I can be that nice, clean dream for you / Be the first to get a taste of your creamy truth / It’s an ego thing, I want to lock you down / ‘Cos you’re infinitely intricate like London town…” Suddenly it’s her stop, and she’s off and panicked and in an underpass. And just like with the Smiths, it’s dark and there’s someone with her, but she can’t see this one as he purrs more smuttily about the absurdity of him and her as a couple, and the weird shit he keeps in his bedside pedestal. “You can’t have all of me / But give me all of you,” coos Riz while shadowing her in a pea coat, flashing through his favourite topless memories, menaced by his guilt. Let that be a lesson to you young man, and warn you of what happens when you become one of those deviants who get their rushes from breaking people’s hearts.