Robbie Williams: "Rock DJ"

I have no doubt that Robbie Williams is a crap artist. Some guys, I’ll defend their legitimacy as artists in the face of withering dismissals. But Robbie Williams – he really does actually suck.

So how does “Rock DJ” make it onto my mix CDs, too? In a few words: because it shamelessly and self-consciously cops to every cliché about a superficial pop artist. Robbie does idiotic call and response, “When I rock the mike I rock the mike” (pause as he puts his hand behind his ear and awaits his groupies…) “Right!” He has no compunction about getting at the real benefits of fame: “Give no head no backstage passes.” Drugs, sex, partying, dissatisfied partners, licentious lovers… it’s all here. And it’s all over a huge house beat and disco imitations – well-placed strings, big choruses, fat vocal hooks. It’s shit, but it sounds so fucking good, and it’s such a banger.