Tortoise: "Prepare Your Coffin"

While CMG scribes in general were definitely more liberal with our ratings in 2004 than we are now, if ever a review called for a mulligan it was the 87% yours truly slapped on Tortoise’s Its All Around You. That record showcased the Chicago dons at dangerously mellow levels, sounding more like a soundtrack to PBS nature films than a Tortoise record proper. Waves of nostalgia for my bygone college years resulted in an unconscionably high score, simply by virtue of the album existing. Sorry.

Fond memories of John McEntire-fueled bong sessions be damned; I can safely say that “Prepare Your Coffin,” the second track off of forthcoming juggernaut Beacons of Ancestorship, is the real deal. Here, Jeff Parker and co. seem to tacitly acknowledge that their last record was an artful snooze, so they overcompensate by letting Johnny Herndon go completely apeshit on his kit, hurtling forward on the snare drum with a mouth-frothing abandon more akin to So-Cal hardcore than anything resembling Chicago post-rock. Herndon’s cohorts keep pace with the requisite dense layers of distorted synths and treated guitar licks (or is it more synth?), each time culminating in a furious snare fill to signal the close of a stanza. Parker makes room for a somewhat hysterical Alex Lifeson shredfest at 2:30, and then it’s back to the drums, but not before adding gunfire handclaps to the last minute, as if the proceedings weren’t already rhythmic enough.

The presentation proudly evokes the hot shit portion of an early ’70s Zappa instrumental—Hot Rats (1970) epic “Son of Mr. Green Jeans” comes to mind—or a steroid fueled take on the better moments of Tortoise’s own Standards (2000). At any rate, the point is clearly made: “Prepare Your Coffin” makes the listener feel like he’s flying, and it isn’t even Beacons of Ancestorship‘s best song. Feel free to call it a comeback.