Operation Incarcerate Liam Gallagher, Ph. 1

In my continuing quest (oh, it exists, and it is fraught with both peril and rewards) to antagonize Liam Gallagher into performing an act for which he could be jailed, or at least universally despised, I’ve glommed on to Liam’s most recent self-congratulatory publicity move, via his self-congratulatory and extremely masculine clothing line, Pretty Green: the unerringly brow’d Brit will answer hand-picked fan questions…on video!

The most convenient method, I’ve found, in lobbing questions at Liam is through Twitter. All you have to do is append each question with “#askliam” and pray that the slightly more attractive of the two Gallagher brothers chooses you. Some of my (@SinacoLad; plug!) personal favorites:

Why do you hate yourself so much? #askliam

Have you ever played “Wonderwall” live? #askliam

How many special people change? #askliam

How many lives are living strange? #askliam

Have you ever taken a dump and thrown up on your dick? #askliam

As you may be able to tell, I’ve only just begun. And now I extend this invitation to you—or perhaps this is better extended as a challenge, a challenge for all CMG readers to get Liam Gallagher riled up enough to publically denounce us (the CMG community) or one of us. What I’d really like is for him to threaten my life so that I can respond with the cocky rejoinder “Oh yeah? Come get me.” Wouldn’t that be neat?

A man can dream. And so can you. Simply leave some questions in the comments field below and @cmgzine will field them out Liam-ways or begin your own campaign through your own tweeting and make sure to keep us apprised. Together we can build a better tomorrow, castigating one smug fuck at a time.