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Reppin' with the ACARR

By Mark Abraham | 29 June 2008

[What follows is a the official release of the Artists’ Coalition Against Rick-Rolling (ACARR), annotated with the member’s comments to the press after signing this historic document.]

The Artists’ Coalition Against Rick-Rolling (ACARR), petition signed by:

Rick Derringer (Vice President)

Well, y’know, Al kicked me to the curb years ago. I’m not gonna let the Internet do the same thing.

Rick Springfield (President)

No, I mean—it’s just tiring, y’know, having to correct people everywhere I go. It’s like, “Oh! You’re that roll guy thing, right?” And I keep having to be, “No. I’m the one who did ‘Jesse’s Girl’.” And then, each and every time, their face just loses all expression, and all I get is, “oh.”

Rick Wakeman (Treasurer)

I used to be the most popular “Rick” on YouTube, dammit. Plus, I mean, Yes was finally gaining some modicum of popularity with the kids. Try searching for “Rick music” now.

…what? Oh yeah…I’ve got a new promotion. If you purchase Close to the Edge, I’ll come to your house and play a keyboard solo for you right there. Fuck Youtube!

Rick Rubin (Member)

I was…misinformed as to what this was actually about, and also as to who Rick Springfield was.

Rick Ross (Secretary)

From Jay-Z to Astley, Ricky Ross knows when and how to hitch his wagon.

Handsome Rick Manitoba (Member)

Are we off the record? Okay. I just…like, for reals? I just smell the money. And come on: nobody remembers what my actual name is anyway.

Rick Wright (Member)

I dunno. I was just at home and the phone rang and I thought it was maybe Gilmore calling but it was just Wakeman, and Wakeman said something about Springfield calling us all up—

…yeah, by “us” I mean us Ricks, but yeah, anyway: Springfield is apparently jealous of Astley and, let’s face it—I have nothing better to do.

Ric Flair (Member)

Whoooooooooooooooooooooo!

Rick Solomon (Just…happened by)

What do you mean, “who are you again?”

Rick Santorum (Member)

I am against this because I am against everything. Especially fun.