A Clockwork JetBlue

Sarah McLachlan has a new record out. It’s her first in seven years, and directly addresses the dissolution of her marriage to her bass player. It was recorded live to the floor. Though I’ve always thought her 1994 single “Possession” was a bit of a jam, I would not consider myself a fan and generally identify her music as the go-to soundtrack for the animal cruelty PSAs that constantly run on New York City cable stations. I am privy to all of the above information for one reason alone: I flew on JetBlue last week.

Say what you will about McLachlan’s Adult Alternative chic, but she’s found an interesting way to sell records: brainwashing hapless JetBlue passengers. I like flying JetBlue because they have the best free snacks and 30+ channels of Direct TV on every seatback. One of those channels, and the default when the TV comes on, is JetBlue’s own “Artist Feature” station. Last week it was running a fifteen minute McLachlan feature on loop, followed by a ten minute one documenting INXS’s questionable decision to record their greatest hits with new vocalists. What’s more, there’s a period of time during boarding where the only channel you’re actually allowed to watch is JetBlue’s own, so there’s nearly 100 televisions showing nothing but the head of Sarah McLachlan…and the A Clockwork Orange joke writes itself. At least from where I was sitting, everybody had passed out without bothering to change the channel, so the Lilith overload compelled me to put on my headphones and listen in.

In doing so, I learned all of the above information, as well as the fact that she’s not entirely oblivious to the current musical environment. Her new single “Loving You is Easy” is as blatant a rip of Feist’s “1234” as you’re going to find. The INXS feature was more depressing, if only because they’ve somehow discovered a way to shed even more of their post-reality show dignity by documenting their efforts to re-arrange their hits with new vocalists. We witness Ben Harper doing a decent enough Michael Hutchence karaoke on “Never Tear Us Apart,” but you would need to be much higher than 30,000 feet to agree with his smug declaration that the song is a soul number on par with “The Dock of the Bay.” Sorry mates, but I refuse to believe that “Michael would have wanted it this way.”

But let’s just say, even after a six hour flight, you’re still on the fence as whether to purchase the Sarah McLachlan record (the key word being “purchase”; her primary fan base still does). What will it take to push you over the edge? How about a solo piano concert in the middle of the JetBlue Terminal en route to baggage claim? My plane landed at New York’s Kennedy Airport on Tuesday. This concert really did happen in that very spot two days later. I need to start hanging out at JFK more often now, if only to catch the inevitable INXS gig. Aging legacy rockers, meet your new daddy.