Top 20 CMG Slogans

or Our Favorite In-Jokes With Zero Context:

TIE: 20a. Fuck my review on there

20b. fuck i mailed them a record

19. Explosive kegs between our legs

18. writin’ dirty

17. Personal blunts? Like, one for each dude? That’s decadent

16. martin luther king – hippies – mountaints – 9/11 – truck – firemen – puppies – truck – hardon – truck – truck – flag – truck – chevy

15. Over 10,000 Seth Cohens Served

14. Expect the Best, Accept the Worst

13. i’m going to buy cripple crow just to throw it in the trash

12. Guys, let’s promise to never ever sue each other

11. Apparently we’re only nutsacks

10. The longest everything in rock criticism

9. Shitty promos, witty banter, and the undying respect of our peers only goes so far

8. Four out of five defamation lawyers read CMG

7. Working fine until it became porn a few days ago

6. We’re not competent, but we’re terrific

5. The Porky’s of music criticism

4. Janking links; a real badass in my knit sweaters

3. She asked me what I was doing. I told her I had a music festival to go to

2. Obviously not in your time zone

1. I lost my virginity to total fucking silence