John Legend f/ Andre 3000 / Fonzworth Bentley f/ Kanye West, Andre 3000, and Sa-Ra: ""Green Light" / "Everybody""

AndreWatch

In “Green Light,” after three and a half minutes of spry boom-bap and glossy synth washes, neither of which are as appetizing as that description would imply, and after a protracted spell of utterly faceless John Legend crooning, Andre 3000 starts rapping. In the video, he does this from the bottom of a martini glass surrounded by synchronized swimmers in what appears to be Ovaltine. The wordplay is basic and the narrative familiar, but Andre’s wide-open flow and (most importantly) vivid, giddy delivery are further proof that he can perform a Vulcan mind-meld with any beat of any quality with any company and set the fucking megaverse ablaze with rap blog hypegasms. Shamefully, the track treats this lyrical addendum as though it were mere garnish, but following the rap Andre’s riotous outpour of ad libs energizes the previously staid track into something like incredible, and, certainly, the best track John Legend will ever find himself on. If the fact that one is writing with his life a narrative on the worth of art and the other is John Legend isn’t evidence enough of the disparity between these two artists’ quality, their outfits alone show what’s what. Legend takes the easy route and attempts sophistication by, um, leaving his collar open; Andre rocks a tuxedo shirt and a red bowtie before switching into all-whites.

Dude could make Jncos fresh if so inclined. We see him tuxedoed again in the video for Fonzworth Bentley’s “Everybody,” the shooting of which we must assume was funny for the people involved. It’s an eyesore on screen, but per his superhuman transformative powers Andre rises above the muck like some strange anointed godchild lost at a low-rent carnival. Ever the accessorizer, here he rocks what appears to be an eyepatch while spitting a workmanlike verse compared to his other efforts of late, by which I mean it doesn’t dramatically realign the stars in its life-affirming resplendence but merely settles on wit, wordplay and high, breezy cadence. The real draw here is Kanye, who doesn’t bother rapping but flops about onscreen in one of the worst dance performances ever recorded. I’ve seen cumshot compilations with more grace. The track is from the long-delayed Fonzworth LP C.O.L.O.U.R.S., which may finally be seeing release, but regardless it’s middling 2006 production work from Ye and even way back then would’ve sounded as such. The release is notable exclusively for Andre’s presence, and (if not his best verse) it doesn’t disappoint.

Point being: there’s only one dude in the world with whom Andre should be rapping this well, and that dude is putting out a solo record instead. Rap nerds and Okayplayer boarders unite: let’s get a push going for 10 the Hard Way. It worked for Hell Hath No Fury, right?