Tracks
Secret Machines: "Alone, Jealous & Stoned"
(2006)
By Craig Eley | 24 January 2008
The Secret Machines are not the Arcade Fire, though some confusion on the subject can be excused. Both had shockingly promising 2004 debuts built around heady guitar anthemics, and both have been underwhelming us with the little new material we've been able to get our hands on since. The moments of greatest promise on the Secret Machines’ debut were based around the tight, mechanical workings of the musicians and intriguing, obtuse lyrics. If they felt a bit more cold and detached than their doppelgangers, it served to their advantage. The Secret Machines seemed like a band that should’ve been played through every town’s air raid speakers.
And then this bomb dropped. “Alone, Jealous, and Stoned,” from the upcoming Ten Silver Drops, throws away all Machine-like elements that made the debut so strong and goes right for an Arcade Fire tear-jerker. But instead of that band’s ornate operatics, this track has all the feeble professionalism of an eighth grade play. Appropriately, the lyrics seem cribbed from a fourteen-year-old’s notebook: “Sittin’ at home / What am I doing / Boy waiting by the phone.” Sonically, it sounds like the Stratford 4 covering “Baba O’Riley” with the guy from Widespread Panic on lead vocals. This is not a good thing.
The song is roughly divided into thirds, the first being an ambling meditation on youth, romance and other corny shit. After a lengthy, piano-dominated bridge, the drums and guitar switch into “emotional epic” mode to dominate the mostly instrumental second act, but they feel like tired character actors simply arriving on cue. As this embarrassing performance continues, the lyrics and musical themes from the beginning show up again at the 5 minute mark for yet another emotional parade about the cardboard set, making the whole affair feel much longer than the 6:48 that it runs. We can only hope that the next actual Arcade Fire release will have more to offer.
And then this bomb dropped. “Alone, Jealous, and Stoned,” from the upcoming Ten Silver Drops, throws away all Machine-like elements that made the debut so strong and goes right for an Arcade Fire tear-jerker. But instead of that band’s ornate operatics, this track has all the feeble professionalism of an eighth grade play. Appropriately, the lyrics seem cribbed from a fourteen-year-old’s notebook: “Sittin’ at home / What am I doing / Boy waiting by the phone.” Sonically, it sounds like the Stratford 4 covering “Baba O’Riley” with the guy from Widespread Panic on lead vocals. This is not a good thing.
The song is roughly divided into thirds, the first being an ambling meditation on youth, romance and other corny shit. After a lengthy, piano-dominated bridge, the drums and guitar switch into “emotional epic” mode to dominate the mostly instrumental second act, but they feel like tired character actors simply arriving on cue. As this embarrassing performance continues, the lyrics and musical themes from the beginning show up again at the 5 minute mark for yet another emotional parade about the cardboard set, making the whole affair feel much longer than the 6:48 that it runs. We can only hope that the next actual Arcade Fire release will have more to offer.