The You're All Sheep! Award

Girls :: Album
(True Panther Sounds/Matador; 2009)

If the ridiculous backstory is to be believed, Girls frontman Christopher Owens knows a thing or two about brainwashing: his parents were members of that cadre of sexually liberated hippies known as the Children of God Cult. How else to explain how he’s tricked an enormous number of music critics into believing that his band’s obnoxious shit pile of a debut record is a serious contender for Album of the Year? Owens is not the second coming of Elvis Costello, nor is he a “sunsplashed” hippie pop genius. He is, however, extremely annoying, singing every one of his so-called genius pop songs in a nasal, whiny lisp reminiscent of a bad Valley Girl impression. It calls to mind the cliche of nails scraping against a chalkboard, only far worse, and with the indignity of a pointedly NSFW video for hit single “Lust For Life” to boot (because homeboy’s an artist!). Methinks that Owens is somehow in on the joke, and relishing his fifteen minutes, because his band is destined to go the way of Electroclash once all y’all stop drinking the Kool-Aid.