Pitchfork Music Festival 2011: Photo Round-up 4

“Whoa, man! Is that one of those camera things? Let me get a picture of that shit on my phone!”

“Yeah, you know, these crutches have really put a kink in my rape game…”

The great thing about umbrella hats is that they make sure hipsters still get sunburn.

Ladies, if you’re trying to avoid unwanted attention at Pitchfork Fest, don’t get a robot tattoo.

–or–

“Whoah, white twenty-somethings are still around? When was their last record?”

We don’t know why we have a picture of this and yet we totally do.

The one guy in the entire crowd capable of a loon call stuns the crowd into silence, until someone cautiously begins a slow clap.

“I don’t know you but I’m about to place this beer on your girlfriend’s head. What? Why? Because I need a place to put it. What? No: obviously I don’t care. Have you seen me?”

“Oh God, he knows I’m not actually from LA.”

“Clay said WHAT about Odd Future!?!”

Purgatory hath no malaise like an indie girl with shades.

The row of effects pedals lay neglected for the entire festival until they decided to become a chillwave band. Fat Possum Records immediately signs them.

Just…come on, just…look behind you.

“Wait….you mean My Morning Jacket aren’t booked for Pitchfork this year? Sheeeeeeeeit.

–or–

“…And my axe!”

And then it dawned on her, all these years later: that was UB40 in Speed 2.

Hot on the heels of the Spiderman reboot with that one dude from the Facebook movie comes the next logical step: mumblecore Spiderman with that one dude from Pitchfork Fest.

“Oh yes, it really was a wonderful festival. I’ll remember it well when this spot is condos.”

“Yeah, actually, I named them. This one here’s called ‘Shock Value’ and my other crutch is ‘Twitter.’”