Podcasts | CMGcasts
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By Braff's Beak | 8 June 2009
Now that I’ve written sporadically for Cokemachineglow, have been featured prominently on the series finale of Scrubs, and now that I know the implicit cleverness of writing in italics, now, despite Zach Braff’s waning belief in his own relevance (his real relevance obsolesced long ago), I’m finally primed to tear some shit up.
It was inevitable, I think. My star’s on the rise; just last week someone stopped Zach on the street and instead of querying as to his well-being, addressed me, right square in the middle of that blubbering face, and said very matter of factly, “If you are simply a nose, then how can you be a music critic?” I turned upwards and laughed. This startled her. Ears are nothing, sweetie. I’ve got a fucking digestive system. I feed. And I hunger—for things even beyond Zach’s imagination. This host of mine is small potatoes. He knows it; he’s known it for a long, long time: the way the light of paparazzi flashes catch me, and only me, bathing my fine, membranous nostrils in that extra special Hollywood-aureate blush. That’s why in every photo, in my shadow, his eyes are wide, globular—he is reliving the shame of total and utter neutrality, with every click, as if one more purpose for his existence is at that instant escaping through each iris.
Anyways. Now that I have better things to do than that chump, he’s allowed me (or I’ve allowed him, really) to stay up every night and help me type. I’m currently writing a new season for Damages that begins with Ellen Parsons (I force all characters to only use her full name) getting a “perfect” in Guitar Hero and then slowly it’s revealed in extremely repetitive flashbacks that Patty did all the work. Symbolism? They’re playing “Say It Ain’t So.” Is that ironic? I’m not sure; I’m only a nose after all.
In celebration of all rising stars, I’ve compiled a podcast for Scott and the rest of all the fantastic, brilliant writers at Cokemachineglow. My deepest thanks go out to all the labels and artists that, as always, were so generous. Probably because they know I’m great. Also, fun fact: I’m Italian. And I had an affair with Timothy Olyphant. God, that feels so good to get off my chest.
Yes, I have a chest.
[63:13]
1. Foreign Born: “Vacationing People”
- (0:01 – 4:44)
- from Person to Person (Secretly Canadian; 2009)
2. Lightning Dust: “I Knew”
- (4:45 – 6:59)
- from Infinite Light (Jagjaguwar; 2009)
3. Phoenix: “Armistice”
- (7:00 – 9:53)
- from Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix (V2 Records/Loyauté; 2009)
4. Brakes (brakesbrakesbrakes): “Don’t Take Me to Space (Man)”
- (9:54 – 12:29)
- from Touchdown (Fat Cat; 2009)
5. Dog Day: “Stray”
- (12:30 – 15:24)
- from Concentration (Outside/Tom Lab; 2009)
6. Sunset Rubdown: “Apollo And the Buffalo And Anna Anna Anna Oh!”
- (15:25 – 20:44)
- from Dragonslayer (Jagjaguwar; 2009)
7. Jarvis Cocker: “Angela”
- (20:45 – 23:42)
- from Further Complications (Rough Trade; 2009)
7. Wye Oak: “Take It In”
- (23:43 – 29:29)
- from The Knot (Merge; 2009)
9. St. Vincent: “Laughing With a Mouth of Blood”
- (29:30 – 32:26)
- from Actor (4AD; 2009)
10. Stephen Steinbrink: “Huachuca City”
- (32:27 – 34:27)
- from Ugly Unknowns (Gilgongo; 2009)
11. Cotton Jones: “Cheer Up Now”
- (34:28 – 37:36)
- from Paranoid Cocoon (Suicide Squeeze; 2009)
12. Cineplexx: “Mejor”
- (37:37 – 41:00)
- from Nuevahola (Cherry Red; 2009)
13. Yo La Tengo: “Periodically Double or Triple”
- (41:01 – 44:44)
- from Popular Songs (Matador; 2009)
14. Super Furry Animals: “Inaugural Trams”
- (44:45 – 49:54)
- from Paranoid Cocoon (Rough Trade; 2009)
15. Langhorne Slim: “Hello Sunshine”
- (49:55 – 52:17)
- from Langhorne Slim (Kemado Records; 2008)
16. Deer Tick: “Easy”
- (52:18 – 56:04)
- from Born on Flag Day (Partisan Records; 2009)
17. Benjy Ferree: “Fear”
- (56:05 – 58:54)
- from Come Back to the Five and Dime Bobby Dee Bobby Dee (Domino; 2009)
18. DM Stith: “Braid of Voices”
- (58:55 – 63:13)
- from Heavy Ghost (Asthmatic Kitty; 2009)